*checks on people i hate to make sure theyre still infinitely less powerful than me*
shout out to the people that read books before they write essays on them. you’re an inspiration
i was cuddling this guy once n he had his head on my chest n just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “netflix” becus i was thinkin about netflix and he just went
"oh. your heart sped up and i… ok"
i’m just bein miley
your favourite celebrity could be pooping right now
"This is why you can’t trust women! They’re so good at makeup and wear it to fool guys into thinking they’re hot!"
shit. girls he’s on to us *washes off makeup to reveal lizard face and climbs up a wall* we will return with a new disguise. soon the power of earthly men will fall